Well, here's another kitchen story that may just top the oven cleaning adventure from last winter. I hope you enjoy. I didn't make up a single thing!
At 7:30 tonight I began making what my pal Tina describes as an amazing chocolate cake. Very simple recipe and vegan to boot. I preheat the oven to 375 and start gathering all the ingrediants. All along I'm getting the groceries put away, wondering where our kitten has gone, putting stuff in the RV for the long weekend, opening the mail...you get the idea...multitasking. The instructions tell me to use an 8x8 pan or 9" round. I tear the pantry apart looking for my 8x8 Pyrex. After a few choice words I give up and go with the round. I think it's a 9" but I'm not quite sure. I start sifting and mixing and measuring into my pan, which all of a sudden seems really small. I check the directions and I've still got 1-1/2 cups of liquid to add to it. Hmmm...go for it! Why dirty another pan? Not only am I pushing my luck with the volume of chocolately goodness, I'm curious what flavor the 2 tablespoons of vinegar are going to impart into this cake.
Well, what do you know...it all fit in the pan. I carefully balance my bulging pan in one hand, open the oven door with the other and set it on the low rack. Timer set for 30 minutes. I unload and load the dishwasher, take out the garbage. Odd smell now coming from the oven. I open it and nothing seems amiss. I close it and start a load of laundry. Something is not right. That smells funky. Not burning, not sugary...funky! I open the oven again and some smoke comes out. I'll admit I haven't cleaned the oven since the last time I tried so it's not exactly clean. I assume some left over treat is getting toasty. But gawd, it smells funky. I assume it's the chemical reaction caused by the vinegar and chocolate, right? After just a moment or two more I can't stand it. It smells like hot plastic. I finally open the oven door all the way and get down at rack level...where I see Sunday's breakfast sitting on the top rack. We had some lovely Belgian waffles and scrambled eggs, complete with the plastic serving spoon still in place. Shit! That explains it!
What is the first rule when turning on the oven? Make sure there's nothing in it!! Dumb Ass!
So I take the now singed waffles and the bowl with the slightly browned eggs out of the oven and into the sink. I take the cake (which looks like pudding at this point) out and let the oven air out for a moment. I close it back up & let it get back to temp. But I'll be damned if it doesn't start smoking again. What the F? I happen to look in the sink and notice that the handle on the plastic serving spoon is curved like Mt. Krumpet when it used to be straight. As a matter of fact, there's a solidified stream of plastic running down the bowl. I wonder where that stream led to...? Oh hell!
I open the oven again and see the black gooze, sizzling on the bottom of the oven. I take out the lower rack, grab some paper towels and wipe up the blob. It was nasty and toxic looking. After I got it cleaned up I looked at my pudding/cake pan. Dump it and start over or shove it back in the oven? Did it absorb toxic smoke? Will it taste bad? Do I have the motivation to start all over? I stuck my finger in it and tasted it. DEEEELISH! I opted to try it. I opened the oven several times during the bake to let out any residual smoke.
As soon as the cake is done I pull it out and immediately break off a chunk. No sense letting it cool if I'm just going to dump it, right?! 375 degrees is hot! The few unsinged tastebuds in my mouth are delighted to report the cake tastes great. No plastic aftertaste, no hint of toxic smoke. While the cake cools I begin making the topping. Mmmmm! More chocolate! By now I have eaten more sugar in 1 hour than I have in the entire previous week. I'm feeling a bit light headed and can't decide if I should blame it on the sugar, the smoke or what.
Daughter comes in and is perplexed by the chaos in the kitchen. I calmly turn and say "Aleah, what's the number 1 rule when you're going to cook something in the oven?" She immediately says "You always say 'make sure there's nothing in it'." Thank goodness she's not doomed to repeat this incident! She is fascinated by the Mt. Krumpet spoon but leaves quickly, muttering something about "that smell". I tell her to go clean the cat box.
The topping is ready and the cake is fairly cool. I fill the gap I created when I did my earlier taste test with the topping and then spread it over the rest of the cake. Oh my, it looks GOOD! But the recipe says to let it cool in the fridge for at least 30 minutes. So I open the fridge where I discover that my daughter has very kindly yet very creatively stashed all the stuff we just bought at Costco. If I move this, shift that, and balance the cake over here...oh shit, there go two containers of yogurt. One explodes all over the floor, the fridge, my shoe, my pants and probably the ceiling too.
By 9:35 the 6 Minute Vegan Chocolate Cake is cooling in the fridge. It is safely balanced between the milk carton and the V-8. As long as no one breathes and we don't have an earthquake in the next 1/2 hour, we should be fine.
I hope Chris and Devin are enjoying the Sounders game!
So who wants to try some cake?!
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